I'm reading From Rebellion to Redemption by Randal Working; it is written to be read over a year in reflection of the Christian themes of the Heidelberg Catechism, not something that would necessarily attract me, but the title did draw my attention, and I'm so glad it did. I'm already enjoying the thought and heart so many God-seekers of the past have put into knowing God. I'm especially reminded of how universal, even over space and time, our need for God truly is. Here is a looong quote within the book that encompasses this universal need:
"Many of my daily preoccupations suggest that I belong more to the world than to God. A little criticism makes me angry, and a little rejections makes me depressed. A little praise raises my spirits, and a little success excites me. It takes very little to raise me up or thrust me down. Often I am like a small boat on the ocean, completely at the mercy of its waves. All the time and energy I spend in keeping some kind of balance and preventing myself from being tipped over and drowning shows that my life is mostly a struggle for survival: not a holy struggle, but an anxious struggle resulting from the mistaken idea that it is the world that defines me....The worlds's love is and always will be conditional. AS long as I keep looking for my true self in the world of conditional love, I will remain 'hooked' to the world- trying, failing, and trying again. It is a world that fosters addictions because what it offers cannot satisfy the deepest craving of my heart."
---Henri J. M. Nouwen, The Return of the Prodigal Son: A story of Homecoming
For me, the deepest craving(s) of my heart, I've had most all my life, and I have found it satisfied in my Savior...The craving for goodness, belonging unconditionally, a life that lasts forever and has profound worth,grace... all in God through His sacrifice.
Honestly, it is sometimes still too simple for me. I am used to earning and working hard toward a goal (the ways of the world), I'm ever asking "what do I need to do next?". I guess it's my pride, but today, I will to remember, His Love is to be received as a child. Not like the "adult" I've become. I mean getting a gift can conjure some thoughts a child receiving a gift never has( a child is just grateful toward the giver), like thoughts about how I might repay to keep someone happy with me. For instance, someone gets me something for my birthday and my first thought is, oh geez, what did I get for her on her birthday? Was it good enough? or Okay, I need to remember to do something for him/her. This mentality is almost ingrained to the point it's sometimes subconscious. Could I be treating God's Gift the same way? I'd say I probably do, whether I'm conscious of it all the time or not, but today I will to surrender to the Gift of His love through my Savior. I will allow my heart to be grateful for the unconditional gift of His love.
Here is prayer I found in the book, as well:
Lord, in all the uncertainties of this world, it's good to know I belong to you. Please help that reality to sink into the deepest levels of who I am, so that I can live my life with peace, confidence, and joy. In Jesus' name, amen.
